A conversation last Sunday...

Whilst I was stringing home grown beans and drinking wine and Mr Wolf was making the gravy...

Me: I'm debating shaving my hair off for charity.

Mr W: FUCK OFF!
If you want to raise money for charity why don't you do a sponsored house clean!

Me: FUCK OFF!


The out-laws are coming for Sunday lunch, the good news is Mr W has been busying himself sweeping, dusting and tidying...every cloud!

A bloody good excuse!

Yep no housework for me today, I was working! Oh yes a days supply at the school I usually help out at.

It would have been a very good day too if not for a very smelly poo incident!

Oh yes the TA gets all the best jobs.......poor child in year 1 had done a poo in her pants......which rolled under the toilet door!! It was the size and shape of a tennis ball, I kid you not! How she had managed to squeeze it out of her very petite bot I have no idea and how we weren't dialing 999 for an Ambulance is beyond me, she certainly skipped out of the toilet!

Lunch

I always meet the same friends for lunch on a Thursday; we take it in turns, I don't eat meat, I can't call myself a veggie any more because I eat fish, but I know my friend had scrapped meat from one side of the pizza to the other pretending that it was veggie!? She's anorexic so eats 3 bits of cucumber with a ton of salt, I was annoyed and rather disgusted to say the bloody least!

Exciting day tomorrow, I have a days work!
I will be thinking of a mate who will be having chemo, whilst I help get 30 reception children into their PE kits.

I knew it wasn't going to be a good day when...

..the dog started barking at 2.45 AM, not only that but he kept insisting on ramming his head out of the cat flap in an effort to get at whatever it was. Mr Wolf just kept saying"can you shut your dog up!" In an attempt not to get out of bed I vaguely ssshhhhhhed him [the dog!] of course to no avail, so finally I thought I'd better actually look out of the window just in case some drugged, crazed hoodie was hauling the kids bikes over the hedge! Nothing there.....

The next annoying thing also included the dog, on the way to school, which is fraught enough at the best of times with sibling rivalry, moaning about the walk/cold/having to go at all, the dog pulled so much he broke the Halti; which is supposed to stop him pulling in the first place, so I was then dragged along, shoulder slowly coming out of its socket, I then thought it would be much more fun to give in to childs plea to hold said dog and watch him being dragged down the gully instead...and it was!

I then forgot to take my bags into Tesco when I did my shopping so failed to get my 'Green' points, I know this is very mean but the shop assistant wearing the 'Beauty has a new face' T-shirt, really shouldn't have been!

A very good reason not to do the housework!

And that is, to volunteer to go here, http://www.warwickshire.gov.uk/web/corporate/pages.nsf/Links/41C9A3155B3CB72580256BFB00283990 with a group of 30 year 2 children! This is a particularly extreme activity considering neither of ones children attend the school any more!
It was a very good trip, only one child burst into tears at the Victorian discipline, no one was sick on the coach and although we tried, we didn't lose any! I did come away with a bursting headache and now have to 'do' the Brownie run and fight a boy to read!

Why bother?

So, I clean the kitchen floor, let the dog out for a pee......This is why I don't do cleaning AND I rushed outside to bring in the washing in my new Birkenstocks and stepped in dog shit!

Things to do to get out of doing the housework!

1. Start a blog.........having decided to clean the kitchen floor after a year, it soon turned into a boring job, requiring a toothbrush to get the grime out of the grouting, so I thought I'd start a blog instead.

But it could be quite boring.....