What a week!

This is fast becoming a fabulous week!

It started on Monday, much like anyone elses week does, but unlike most people I was off to London....where I met up with fellow Green Wing fans to attend the DVD signing.

We had 'The Best Ever Pizza' once again at Pizza Express, its a Padana btw and then off to Virgin Meagstore for a 2 hour wait for our idols!! Now for anyone reading this who has missed Green Wing, shame on you, you really should watch it....... So signing our DVd [a Boxset at £45 ] were actors who played Joanna, Mac and Martin, who were very charming as always and signed not only my DVD but also a get well card, for a Convention Committee member who is very poorly, some of the writers were also there and they helped me with an extra special surprise, which I can't tell you about at the mo......

Needless to say we had a ball, as its always great to get out, away from the house and it has to be said that I do go a little OTT on such occasions as it very liberating to be away from small children and having to be 'sensible mum!'

The icing on the cake is that the card has made my poorly friend smile and that's a good feeling.

So that was day when no housework took place!

On Tuesday I had an interview for a job, its a support job with a child in a school nursery who has Down's syndrome, I arrived on time thinking I'd be out in half an hour......3 hours later having carried out an activity with 4 Nursery children, had lunch and been interviewed by the Head teacher, SENCO teacher and a priest! I came out rather shell shocked!

I was told I would hear their decision by post, so in about 6 months time I thought, but no yesterday I recieved a call offering me the post, HUZZAH! Its only 15 hours a week but as I pointed out to Mr Wolf, with the children and looking after the home, housework, shopping etc thats quite enough, his reply.........


" So your going to start doing some housework when you get this job then?"

My standard reply to any such nonsense is "Fuck Off"

Anyway I get the last laugh, because I visited the school this morning and met my new charge and the Head offered me some supply work on 2 afternoons a week!! So I shall be so busy I may need a cleaner!

Good Lord I almost forgot the most amazing news, I'm on the DVD!! How fuck off cool is that!

Knitting...

Yes, just how exciting is my life!

Years ago I did quite a lot of knitting, a few creations I could actually wear! A few caused my step mum to wet herself, a particular favourite of hers was the one with one sleeve longer than the other, another that would fit Geoff Capes!

So she is waiting with Tenas at the ready, for the outcome of the latest venture, however she is unaware of my secret weapon ! Daught's friends mum who is a knitting whizz so I may just actually be able to wear this cardie with pride.........We shall see!

Because of the knitting craze, I have been hunting in the loft for my old knitting bag and other essential items a knitter requires, can I find them can I bugger. After 3 attempts to locate them, finding instead a bag of my dead mothers rollers, I finally gave in and said to Mr Wolf, " There's a BJ in it if you can find it".......


I'm getting a little bit excited, as tomorrow I'm off to London for the day to the Green Wing signing, buying DVDs that I already have! But I have a very exciting secret mission I have to complete, but I can not possible say what that is in case she looks here!!

Also on Tuesday I finally have an interview, oh Huzzah, a real reason not to do any housework!

Tin hat time......

According to Mr Wolf its 'Tin Hat time'......

he needs to watch what he says, or he'll find I've made a handbag out of his bollocks.

The things children say....

Last evening I spent a very pleasant time with a couple of girlfriends, we became friends during the dark 'post natal' days, we all have 2 children of similar ages, they both have 2 boys whilst I have a pigeon pair.

They are at different schools so we were comparing homework, spellings and the like.
One of my friends boys had the word 'sight' on his list, which he had to spell correctly and then write a sentence using the word, this is his sentence.......


' My dad tells me to get out of his sight!'

My friends are really looking forward to parents evening next week!

The Naughtiest Girl Again......

I spent forever yesterday, well about half an hour, in the loft looking for my knitting bag last used about 15 years ago, didn't find it but did find some old books that I thought daught aged 9 would like to read..........

She was thrilled to have her mums books and we settled down to read 'The Naughtiest Girl Again' after a couple of pages we had the following conversation......

Daught: How does the book end mum?

Me: I have no idea!

Daught: can't you remember?

Me: Sweetheart I had that book in 1972 when I was 10, I've read a lot of books since then......

Few pages later.....

Daught: Perhaps when we get to the middle you'll remember the ending?

Me, [in my head] Bloody Hell! I go into a room and forget why, she thinks I can remember a book from 1972.......

Sunday lunch

I learnt rather too much information regarding my in-laws sex life yesterday, mainly that they hadn't had one for 26 years! There was a problem with a "pap" a what? I inquired, not entirely certain that I was ready to know what a " pap" is, turned out she was talking about a smear test that had caused problems......

A conversation last Sunday...

Whilst I was stringing home grown beans and drinking wine and Mr Wolf was making the gravy...

Me: I'm debating shaving my hair off for charity.

Mr W: FUCK OFF!
If you want to raise money for charity why don't you do a sponsored house clean!

Me: FUCK OFF!


The out-laws are coming for Sunday lunch, the good news is Mr W has been busying himself sweeping, dusting and tidying...every cloud!

A bloody good excuse!

Yep no housework for me today, I was working! Oh yes a days supply at the school I usually help out at.

It would have been a very good day too if not for a very smelly poo incident!

Oh yes the TA gets all the best jobs.......poor child in year 1 had done a poo in her pants......which rolled under the toilet door!! It was the size and shape of a tennis ball, I kid you not! How she had managed to squeeze it out of her very petite bot I have no idea and how we weren't dialing 999 for an Ambulance is beyond me, she certainly skipped out of the toilet!

Lunch

I always meet the same friends for lunch on a Thursday; we take it in turns, I don't eat meat, I can't call myself a veggie any more because I eat fish, but I know my friend had scrapped meat from one side of the pizza to the other pretending that it was veggie!? She's anorexic so eats 3 bits of cucumber with a ton of salt, I was annoyed and rather disgusted to say the bloody least!

Exciting day tomorrow, I have a days work!
I will be thinking of a mate who will be having chemo, whilst I help get 30 reception children into their PE kits.

I knew it wasn't going to be a good day when...

..the dog started barking at 2.45 AM, not only that but he kept insisting on ramming his head out of the cat flap in an effort to get at whatever it was. Mr Wolf just kept saying"can you shut your dog up!" In an attempt not to get out of bed I vaguely ssshhhhhhed him [the dog!] of course to no avail, so finally I thought I'd better actually look out of the window just in case some drugged, crazed hoodie was hauling the kids bikes over the hedge! Nothing there.....

The next annoying thing also included the dog, on the way to school, which is fraught enough at the best of times with sibling rivalry, moaning about the walk/cold/having to go at all, the dog pulled so much he broke the Halti; which is supposed to stop him pulling in the first place, so I was then dragged along, shoulder slowly coming out of its socket, I then thought it would be much more fun to give in to childs plea to hold said dog and watch him being dragged down the gully instead...and it was!

I then forgot to take my bags into Tesco when I did my shopping so failed to get my 'Green' points, I know this is very mean but the shop assistant wearing the 'Beauty has a new face' T-shirt, really shouldn't have been!

A very good reason not to do the housework!

And that is, to volunteer to go here, http://www.warwickshire.gov.uk/web/corporate/pages.nsf/Links/41C9A3155B3CB72580256BFB00283990 with a group of 30 year 2 children! This is a particularly extreme activity considering neither of ones children attend the school any more!
It was a very good trip, only one child burst into tears at the Victorian discipline, no one was sick on the coach and although we tried, we didn't lose any! I did come away with a bursting headache and now have to 'do' the Brownie run and fight a boy to read!

Why bother?

So, I clean the kitchen floor, let the dog out for a pee......This is why I don't do cleaning AND I rushed outside to bring in the washing in my new Birkenstocks and stepped in dog shit!

Things to do to get out of doing the housework!

1. Start a blog.........having decided to clean the kitchen floor after a year, it soon turned into a boring job, requiring a toothbrush to get the grime out of the grouting, so I thought I'd start a blog instead.

But it could be quite boring.....